What I Do When Students Lie To Me
If you’re like me, you’ve been lied to. It’s a pretty universal experience ranging from insignificant fibs to life-altering edits of reality, we all have some specific examples of being lied to. Personally, I have a host of examples ranging from ex-girlfriends, former professors, and of course local sales folk, all who tried to present an altered reality to me. The biggest single group of individuals that have lied to me though, are students.
Anyone who has spent time in front of a classroom will tell you, it’s hard to come by a more bold and in-your-face style of lie than when it comes from a student. I’ve spent a good deal of time in front of classrooms and while I’m in no way the expert, figuring out how to deal with a student obviously lying to you is something I dealt with and witnessed as a struggle in many other teachers. It’s not even a moral issue at that level, but rather a logistical one.
There are some obvious reasons for a student to lie to a teacher. Trying to cover up cheating, getting an extension on an assignment; one student tried to convince me she was in class on particular day, I just didn’t see her.
The baffling thing is when students (especially at the upper elementary level), lie out of what I can only assume is impulse. Like they have become so accustomed to contradicting authority that it’s as natural a reaction as blinking. I once told a class that they would need a pencil for a test, and one boy, without looking at me, said, “no, we don’t.”
In both cases, the lies are obvious from the head of the classroom. Knowing how to respond to a student who is so brazenly and obviously lying to your face is difficult. The impulse is to argue back because the lie is so obvious it will be an easy one to win. You defeat the student and reestablish that authority. And that’s the trap.
For a book’s worth of reasons, the moment you, as a teacher, argue with a student, you have lost. (Note the important distinction between arguing, which is emotional, and forming an argument, which is intellectual.) It distracts from whatever activity you are trying to conduct. It becomes a spectacle for the other students. Most importantly, it makes you the enemy. Despite the strategy of some teachers, the student/teacher dynamic does not work assuming the two parties are enemies. Student’s (collectively) already behave that way. If a teacher responds in kind, it confirms that worldview.
The moment you engage the student’s lie, it puts it on equal value with the truth. I’ve fallen into the trap myself. Credibility gets destroyed and it becomes almost impossible to get it back. The moment becomes about the obvious lie rather than the progressive pursuit of the truth. The solution I eventually started using is to simply say, “You’re a liar,” and move continue before the lie could be uttered again. (Keep in mind, I said I’m certainly no expert.) It dismisses the lie rather than engaging with it. Truth can then be asserted as the focus and the only currency of the land.
We must insist on the truth instead of engaging in the fiction, even if the goal is to disprove the fiction. A teacher sets the tone for the room. How they treat exchanges matters. They must always serve as the arbiter of truth without indulging those that would spin fiction. Feel free to reread this article and replace “teacher” with “journalist,” and “student” with “politician.”
